For Better or Worse
by demilymoore
Summary: A special event cause Emily to return to DC, but she realizes that nothing is the same as when she left. She realizes that the man she loves has moved on, while she is still stuck in the past. It will be ups and downs, but as they say, everything has to get worse before it can get better.
1. Chapter 1

**This whole idea came to me this weekend and I just couldn't rid of it, so I decided to write it down, even though I don't have time for writing fanfiction, especially not a multi-chaptered story, but I felt that I had to give it a shot, otherwise I would never get the idea out of my head.**  
><strong>Also, I wrote this on my crappy home laptop, that doesn't have a real writing program to write in, which means that it doesn't check the grammar or spelling etc, so if there is any mistakes, I apologize.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

xxx

_October 2014_

Two years, it had been almost two years since she'd been here, standing in this very backyard. Two years, in some ways it felt like it was a whole eternity ago, while in others, it felt like it was just yesterday. It had been a beautiful night, just like it was now, and it had been a beautiful wedding. Just like tonight's wedding was most likely going to be.

The yard was still quiet and blissful, though all the guests hadn't arrived yet, and those who had were still inside. Emily had just gone outside to get some fresh air, and to collect her thoughts. She was happy to see her old team again, because they were more like a family after all, though Emily had worried that they wouldn't feel like a family anymore, but she hadn't needed to worry, all of them had been happy to have her back. Espceially Penelope Garcia, but of course, she was the bride and she wanted to have all of her friends' at her wedding...

Suddenly she heard steps behind her...

"You ok?" A familiar voice asked and a pair of strong arms sneaked around her waist. Emily sighed and turned around to face her wedding date.

"Yeah... I just wanted some fresh air." He nodded and looked up at the clear sky.

"It's a clear sky." He said with the British accent. Emily shrugged.

"We should probably get back inside..." She said and started to walk towards the house, she didn't need to turn around to see that he was following her.

Emily stepped into the house just in time to see a man and a woman walk through the front door. The woman had mocha colored skin and long dark hair and a curvy figure, though it was nothing familiar about her. The man though, she recognized at first sight. She would probably recognize him anywhere, at anytime. But how could she not? She had spent five years with him, five years trusting him in the field and having his back and that's not just something you forget, no matter how far away you are from each other.

"Emily..."

She looked up and met his eyes, his darkbrown eyes that she recognized so well. She forced a smile.

"Hi..."

"I dind't know you would be here." he said slowly.

"Well... I got an invitation so..." He just nodded slowly and an awkward silence laid between them, which made Emily uncomfortable and frankly it seemded to make him uncomfortable as well. Then a low throath cleraing could be heard.

"Oh... this is Savannah." Derek finally presented the woman beside him. Emily swallowed and forced a smile.

"Emily Prentiss. Derek and I used to work together..." she said and shook hand with the woman.

"Oh... That's what I thought..." she said slowly, smiling at Emily, who just nodded. Then she felt how someone appeared beside her and she could feel Dereks eyes on her, and she could see that he definitley recognized the man beside her.

"Ah, Agent Morgan, right?" Mick said and held out a hand. Derek thre one last glance at Emily before he shook Mick's hand.

"That's right. And you are Mick, right?" Mick nodded and flashed a smile. Then Derek presentaded him for Savannah, and before they knew it, all the other guests' had arrived and the wedding began for real.

xxx

The ceremony was beautiful, and it made Emily focus on something else than the one and only Derek Morgan, and the thoughts on their rather complicated past. The past that didn't involve the BAU, the past that no one but them knew about, the past that she had tried to forget about, but it was a task that she had failed miserably with.

The nigth moved on, from the ceremony, to the food and the cake and speeches from different people. Everyone had smiles on theri faces and everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves.

Emily sat at the table in the huge backyard and looked out over the dance floor, she saw how Kevin and Garcia danced closley and Emily couldn't help but smile at how in love they looked, they only had eyes for each ohter. But she guessed that was how it felt to be in love with someone. She saw how all the other couples danced too, Will & JJ, Hotch & Beth and Rossi & Strauss, altough that was a strange sight to see. And then it was the couple that she hadn't let go of with her eyes the whole night. She saw how Derek swung Savannah around and how she laughed and turned around to kiss him.

The sight of it made Emily's heart broke, she couldn't help it adn she hated it and crused herself for it. Because she had no right to be jealous, yet she was. And she hated it, because she wasn't the kind of woman who wept over men, not even Derek Morgan. Still she had been sitting here all night weeping and brooding over the past, instead of celebrating and enjoying the night with her friends.

"Hey, you okay?" Mick asked and sat down beside her, which pulled Emily out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she muttered, wondering why he just couldn't leave her alone, beacuse you invited him with you, smart-head, she thought for herself.

"Yeah? It doesn't look like that. You've been staring at Morgan and his girlfriend all night." he muttered harshly. Emily stared at him.

"I haven't been..." she tried to deny it, but deep down she knew he was right.

"Don't you dare lie to me Emily Prentiss. I know what I see." Emily swallowed.

"I got a call from Cooper, he needs me for something, it couldn't wait." Mick said with a hard voice.

"Okay..." was all Emilly could answer. Mick raised his eyebrowns.

"Okay? That's all you have to say? Okay?" he almost shouted.

"I..." Emily started, but he interrupted her and shook his head.

"Forget it Emily. I have been trying to give you time, these last months, thougth you were still just adjusting to your life in London, but that's not what it is, is it? You obviously can't move on and stop living in the past." he stared her right into her eyes and she could see that she confirmed everything he said, just with ehr eyes.

"Mick..." she tried again, she wanted to fix it, she wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, but she knew he wouldn't believe her, beacuse he knew it was all lies and even if she din't want to admit it, she knew it too, somewhere deep down, she knew she was just lying to herself.

"Don't. I'll just go and maybe when I get back you have fixed whatever is going on." he said before he walked away. Emily just stared after him. Then she sighed.

"Hey... You okay? I saw that Rawson left... He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Emily looked up and shook her head. It was almost pathetic, Mick ran away and seconds after the man she had tried to avoid all night showed up.

"I'm fine. Where's Savannah? Shouldn't you be with her instead of worrying over me?" Emily muttered, she knew sha was being unfair, Derek hadn't did anything wron, but right now she just didn't feel like even seeing him, or anyone else for that matter.

"She got a call from the hospital, an emergency. And Emily, you're my friend, I care and worry about you, that's what friends do." he said, looking at her.

"Yeah I know... And I'm sorry. I'm tired, it has just been a long night." she half smiled at him.

"Too bad, I had been hoping to get you out on the dance floor." He said and grined. Emily chuckled.

"Well... I guess I can stay awake for one dance... Otherwise you'll have to carry med to bed." she joked. He laughed and EMily realized just how much she had missed that laugh.

"Oh don't worry Princess, I've strong arms." I know, Emily thought.

"May I?" he askd and held out his hand. Emily nodded and grasped his hand and they moved out on the dance floor.

xxx

Derek slowly opened his eyes and groadned as he felt the hangover taking over his head adn body, he didn't want to move. But he let his eyes roam over the female body beside him, seeing her naked form, her raven hair curled out on the pillow. Then the memories from last night washed over him and he realized who was laying in the bed next to him.

"Oh crap." he muttered.

**I'm sorry if it was a bit messy, but the second chapter will be better, I hope. **

**Leave a comment or a review? :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Here's chapter two... Hope you will enjoy! And a big thank you to everyone who took time adn commetned on the first chapter, I really _****_appreciate_********_it!_**

_November 2014_

Morgan walked down the hallway in the hospital, he had just finished a lunch with Savannah, but during the lunch she said that she had something important to tell him. He had asked what it was, but before she got the chance to tell him, she had been called back to work, but she had promised to tell him tonight.

Derek had no idea what she wanted to tell him, but she had seemed pretty excited and happy, though he had also seen a bit of hesitation in her eyes. But whatever it was, he would find out soon enough.

Derek was just about to step into the elevator when he bumped into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry!" he started to apologies, but got quiet when he saw the woman in front of him, Emily, he hadn't seen her since the morning after Kevin and Penelope's wedding…

_Derek slowly opened his eyes and groaned as he felt the hangover taking over his head and body, he didn't want to move. But he let his eyes roam over the female body beside him, seeing her naked form, her raven hair curled out on the pillow. Then the memories from last night washed over him and he realized who was lying in the bed next to him._

_"Oh crap." he muttered. He saw how she began to stir and how she rolled over and faced him. She didn't say anything she just looked at him and Derek could hear her how her heart beat fast. Then Derek took a deep sigh and sat up. _

_"__We shouldn't have done this…" he said and looked at her, he could see the sadden look on her face, but when she noticed that he looked at her, she quickly put the apathetic mask back on. But she remained silent. _

_"__I… I'm with Savannah and you are with Mick Rawson…" Derek began, his head was a mess because of the amount of alcohol he had drunk last night, but it didn't stop him from realizing that he had cheated on his girlfriend, with one of his best friend who also happened to be the woman he had been in a relationship just a few years ago, the woman who he still had feelings for, even if he didn't want to admit or realize it just yet._

_"__Say something Emily." He pleaded and finally she looked up at him._

_"__What do you want me to say? That last night was a mistake? Is that what you want to hear?" she gritted through her teeth. _

_"__I don't know. But we did the wrong thing… We just cheated on our partners."_

_"__Partner? Mick isn't my partner, he isn't even my boyfriend…" Emily muttered, it was true, they weren't together, sure they had been going on a few dates and seeing each other for a few months, but they were far from being in a relationship, at least on Emily's part. She didn't see him as her boyfriend, but maybe that was because it wasn't anything serious to her and even how much she tried to deny it, no matter how much she wanted to let herself be in love with him, she couldn't, because even if she didn't want to admit it, she already was in love with someone else. _

_"__Then why did you bring him with you?" Derek's question brought her back to reality. _

_"__I don't know… Because I wanted someone to go with, but it doesn't matter, it isn't anything serious." Emily said and looked at him. And not for the first time she realized how beautiful he was, when he sat there right beside her, the morning sun shining through the silk curtains, and the cover around his waist, leaving his perfect sculptured chest free for her eyes to admire. _

_"__I love you." She blurred out. She saw how his eyes widened, in shock, he just kept staring at her. Emily felt like she couldn't breathe, it was so quiet between them that you would hear a pin drop onto the floor. Then she shook her head and jumped out of the bed and started looking for her clothes, what was she thinking?! He was in a relationship with another woman, a woman who he had just cheated on and seemed devastated about it._

_"__I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You are right, we should just forget about this… It's for the best after all, right?" Emily speeded on as she got dressed, she grabbed her jacket that lay in the corner of the room. Derek just sat there on the bed, paralyzed, it was like he had been hypnotized, he wanted to say something, but he couldn't. _

_"__Bye Derek." Emily said quietly as she opened the door and disappeared, which made Derek get back to earth. He rushed out of the bed and almost opened the door to run after her, but then he remembered that he didn't have any clothes on. _

_"__Damn it!" he swore and began to look for his clothes, but by the time he was dressed and came down the stairs, he could see that she was already gone…_

"What are you doing here?" Derek asked.

"That's none of your business." Emily answered and walked pass him.

"Emily… " he said in frustration, as he watched how she walked down the corridor. But then he followed after her, he passed the corner and saw how she stepped into one of the hospital rooms, slowly he moved closer and closer to the room, until he could peek through the little window on the door.

He saw a woman lying on the bed, she had dark hair that looked a lot like Emily, she had a bandage on her head and a respirator was attached to her body. And it dawned on Derek who the woman was, and he carefully opened the door. He didn't know if Emily heard him enter the room or not, if she did, she didn't move or did anything that implied that noticed it.

"What happened?" Derek asked quietly, not sure how she would react. Emily sighed, she should have known that he would follow her. She threw a look at her mother were she was lying on the bed, she looked so different… so fragile.

"It was a car accident… Mother and her driver collided with a truck with a trailer… Their car flipped before it finally stopped, upside down…" Emily started, but without facing him. She took a deep breath, before continuing.

"The driver… he didn't make it and my mom is in a coma, the doctors said she has some serious brain damage, she had a brain surgery… But they put her in a coma to let it heal properly, but they said it was nothing more to do, than wait and see…" Emily told him with a raspy voice, she felt how the tears started to burn in her eyes and she quickly dried them off with the back of her hand. She and her mother had never been close, especially not during Emily's teenage years, but seeing her mother like this was devastating and even if they had their disputes, she still cared about her mother.

"Oh god Emily, I'm so sorry." Derek said gently, stepping towards her, he sank down on the chair beside her and she looked at him.

"Stop… Just stop, okay?" she rose from her seat.

"Don't pretend like you care." Derek stood up too.

"I'm not pretending, I do care, Emily! Is it so hard for you to understand that? I care about you, when are you going to believe that?! After everything we have been through!?" he almost raised his voice. Emily closed her eyes, her head pounded and she felt so tired.

"I'm sorry… I… I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of it. I'm sorry, I know you care." she said and looked apologizing at him. Derek's heart broke a little, seeing her like this, she looked so fragile, which wasn't something you often saw Emily Prentiss look like, or look like at all. He stepped forward and wrapped her into a hug, at first he felt how she resisted, but after a while she gave up and Derek felt how she let herself fall into his embrace.

"Come on… Let me drive you to your hotel… please, don't try to fight it." He said tiredly, knowing how independent and stubborn she could be. Emily smiled into his chest, he knew her so well.

"Okay." She nodded slowly, she was too tired to care and it actually felt nice to feel that someone cared, that she wasn't totally alone.

Emily threw one glance at her mother before they walked out of the room. They didn't say anything as they walked towards the elevators, but once they were inside the elevator, Emily felt how Derek took her hand and gave it a light squeeze, before letting it go again. But it was enough, and Emily knew that it was a silence promise, a promise that he would be there for her and support her through it.

xxx

Derek parked the car outside the hotel Emily was staying at, he turned off the ignition and turned to his right to look at her.

"So… I guess you're staying in DC for a while?" he asked, looking concerned at her.

"I suppose… I want to wait until my mother is better…"

Derek nodded, he understood, he would have wanted to do that too, if it had been his mom or any of his sisters.

"I just thought… We've no idea how long it will take until your mom gets better and you can't stay at a hotel the whole time… So I just thought that maybe you would like to stay at one of my houses? I have a property that is almost done, it still has a few details to finish up though, but it's livable, it has both electricity and running water…" Derek said slowly.

"I… You really shouldn't…" Emily began, she wanted to tell him that it was going to be fine and that he shouldn't offer her that.

"Just think about it, Em, please?"

"Fine… I will." She muttered and stepped out of the car.

"Thanks for the drive." She said and Derek nodded.

"No problem… Goodnight."

"Goodnight Derek." Emily said and closed the door and walked towards the hotel. Derek looked after her, made sure that she was safe, until he turned on the ignition again and drove off.

xxx

By the time Derek stepped inside his apartment building it had started to rain outside, and not just little. He walked up the stair and started to get his keys out of his pocket as he reached his apartment door. He stepped inside, only to find that his apartment was almost totally dark, except from a few lights in the kitchen.

"I almost started to think that you would never get home…" a voice said from the kitchen and Savannah appeared inform of him. Crap, he had totally forgotten about what she had promised earlier.

"Sorry, I got caught up in some things…" Derek said slowly. Savannah nodded and walked towards him and leaned in for a kiss, which he returned, although it wasn't with as much as excitement as usually.

"I made dinner, come on." She took his hand and guided him towards the kitchen. They sat down and began to eat, but Derek could barely focus, his mind was all over the place, his thoughts were pondering on the guild he felt over cheating on Savannah and in whether he should tell her about it or not, he had been trying to tell her quite a few times the last month, but whenever he tried, he just couldn't get the words out, he felt like such a coward.

"You okay? You look a bit distracted…" Savannah as they sat down to eat.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine. What did you say?" Derek looked at her and tried to focus this time. Savannah took a deep breath and smiled.

"I'm pregnant."

Derek stared at her, had he really heard what he thought he had heard?

**Please leave a comment or review to tell me what you thought :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter, I hope you'll enjoy this one too... **

"What? You're pregnant?" Derek asked, still in shock, he couldn't quite wrap his head around what she had said.

"I am… Almost five weeks…" Savannah said slowly, sensing that his reaction wasn't the same as hers had been.

"I… I have something I need to tell you too…" Derek swallowed and looked at her, it was now or never.

"What is it?" Savannah asked, looking concerned.

"I slept with another woman after Garcia and Kevin's wedding…" the words jut flowed out of his mouth, he was scared for the way she would react, but at the same time it felt like a burden had been lifted from his shoulder.

"You… You cheated on me?" Savannah exclaimed and Derek could see the tears build up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry…. I know it was wrong and I'm so sorry." Derek knew it didn't justified what he had done, but it was all he could say. Savannah swallowed and took a deep breath.

"Who? Who was it… that you…" she asked and stared at him and Derek could see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes, and it made him feel like a complete jerk.

"Does that really matter?" he asked quietly, even if he had got the cat out of the bag, he didn't want to get Emily in trouble.

"Yes it does and you owe me an answer, I think I deserve one." She said coldly.

"The woman you met at the wedding… Emily, she used to be my partner before she moved to London…" Derek said, looking at her and he saw how the tears started to flow.

"But that's not all… We had a relationship a few years back…" he added, figuring that it was for the best to tell her all of it at once.

"Do you love her?" Savannah asked, without looking at him. Derek swallowed, he wasn't entirely sure how to answer that. Did he love Emily? He sure had never gotten over her and he had to admit that he still had feelings for her.

"I don't know… I honestly don't…" he admitted. Savannah shook her head and rose from her seat.

"WHY DEREK?! WHY? I thought we were doing well?! Hell… I wanted to have a family with you… I was so excited about this baby… but now… I don't even want to look at you." She raised her voice and the tears ran down her cheeks, smearing her makeup, and she looked at him with a look mixed of hurt, betrayal and anger.

"Savannah… I'm sorry, I really am, and I know there's nothing that can justify what I did… but I'll do the right thing by this baby and…" Derek stood up too, but he didn't raise his voice, first of all because he would never yell at a woman and second because he knew he was the one who had done the wrong thing.

"It doesn't matter…" Savannah shook her head, before she turned around and walked out the kitchen and seconds later Derek could hear how the front door slammed shut with a loud bang. He just stood there for a moment, before he sank down on the chair.

_What the hell had he gotten himself into? _

xxx

Derek parked his car in the driveway and jumped out of the car and jogged to the porch, trying to avoid getting soaked from the rain that was pouring down, it had rained for almost three days. And the team hadn't had a case in almost a two weeks, which started make Derek a bit restless, he was so goddamn tired of paperwork. Of course he didn't want people to get murdered, but he was tired of just sitting at a desk the whole day, he needed something more to do.

He picked up the keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door, he decided to stay in one of his properties instead of at his apartment, due to the fact that Savannah lived next door, he had only seen her twice through the window since she had rushed out of his apartment almost a week ago, but he hadn't spoken to her. He wanted to talk with her but he figured that she needed some time to think over things, and if he was honest with himself, so did he, he needed time to sort everything out and think about if he really wanted to be with her or not, considering that she was pregnant with his child.

Derek stepped inside and took off his jacket and threw it on the chair in the hallway, before he walked into the kitchen and walked straight to the fridge, to see if there was any beer in it, to his surprise it was. He took one out and opened it and sipped from it, he just stared out the window for a while, seeing of the rain welled down, it looked like it was never going to stop. He considered going out for a job, even though it rained, because a jog and some fresh air always helped him to clear his mind. Derek was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear how someone joined him in the kitchen, not until the person spoke anyway.

"What are you doing here?"

Derek almost jumped of surprise before he turned around, and saw Emily stand in front of him, she was dressed in black yoga pants and a navy-blue hoodie, with her hair down. The first thing that sprang to Derek's mind was how beautiful and relaxed she looked, especially considering how she had looked the last time he had seen her.

"I should be asking _you _that, considering that it is my house… What are you doing here?" Derek asked kind of amused. Emily frowned and looked at him.

"You offered me to stay here… Remember? And you gave me the key just yesterday…" she said. Ah right, Derek had totally forgotten about that, but it was true, he had offered her to stay here and he had given her the key at the BAU yesterday morning.

"Right… I forgot about that…" he paused before he continued.

"Well, I can't stay at my apartment and this is the only property that is livable, so I guess we'll have to share… That's okay with you?" Derek asked, not sure how Emily would feel about practically living with him. Emily looked curiously on him, he hadn't told her about what had happened with Savannah, not yet anyway, he planned too, but not until he had figured everything out.

"It's not like I can kick you out of your own house… So I guess it has to be fine with me." She shrugged. Derek smiled at her and to his surprise she smiled back at him, it was just a little smile, but it was always something.

"Good… I can take the couch anyway." Derek said and took another sip of his beer, before he put it down on the kitchen counter.

"Oh no… I can take the couch, you'll take the bed." Emily protested and Derek shook his head, _stubborn woman_.

"No. I'll take the couch, you are in more need of a bed than I am."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emily asked, and glared at him in a playful manner and stepped closer to him. Derek hold his breath, he hadn't been that close to her since he had held her at the hospital after he se had told her about her mom.

"Nothing… just that you women always say that you need your beauty sleep that's all…" Derek grinned and leaned down a bit, his face was just a few inches away from hers. They were so close, so close that they could almost feel each other's breaths on their skins. Suddenly Derek felt the urge to kiss her, to feel the sweet taste of her lips again, he would just have to lean down a little more, which he did… He knew he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't resist.

He leaned down and slowly brushed his lips against hers, it was a very chaste kiss, but he could feel how Emily kissed him back, which surprised him, because he hadn't thought she would do that, he had expected her to pull away. But she didn't pull away, instead she kissed him more passionately and stretched so she would be able to kiss him better, she also threw her arms around his neck. Derek couldn't do much more than kiss her back, he kissed her and took in the sweet taste of her lips as he slightly partnered them with his tongue to let it play with hers. And she didn't resist, instead she just pressed her body closer to his, and Derek could feel the familiar tickle in his stomach and the signals it sent to his arousal.

_Screw it,_ he thought as he moved is hands under her buttocks and lifted her up on the kitchen counter. Emily automatically locked her legs around his waist and she could feel his arousal pressing against his pants, which sent a tingling feeling straight down to her core. Then she felt how Derek threw the hoodie over her head and watched as he unbuttoned his own shirt and threw it away, and once again, Emily took in the sight of his perfect sculpted torso. She felt how he moved his hands moved to take off her tank top, she let him take it off her and threw it on the floor with her hoodie and his shirt.

Derek moved his hands to unclasp her bra, but he could feel how she held her breath for a moment, hesitating, just for a second, which caused him to stop. He met her eyes and stared deep into them, he saw how she asked him with her eyes if he was sure, if this really was the right thing to do, and he nodded as he leaned in closer to her and gently brushed his lips against hers.

"It's okay." he whispered as he unclasped her bra and pressed his lips against her in a passionate, but loving kiss.

**Since this story is just rated ´T´, i couldn't write a more detalied sex scene, but I hope you liked it anyway. And as always, please leav a comment or review before you go, they're very apprecicated! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Writing** Savannah in this cahpter was a bit of a struggle, because I haven't watched any of the episodes with her, so I have actually no idea how she is like a character, but I tried my best. **

Derek awoke to the sound rain splattering against the window, which meant that it was still raining outside, although he had no idea what time it was, if it was morning or night, it was still dark in the bedroom though, so maybe it was still early morning. He pulled the covers closer around his body and rolled over to see if Emily was awake as well. He could hear her breathing softly but she was faced away from him so he couldn't tell if she was really awake or not. He rolled over so he was lying on his back, facing the ceiling, thoughts swirling around in his head.

His mind drifted on Savannah and the baby. He knew he would have to talk with her and sort things out. But he felt like he needed to talk with Emily first, tell her what was going on. Then he would talk with Savannah and tell her that even though she was pregnant, he couldn't be together with her, it wasn't fair to her, not when he knew that he was in love with someone else. But even if they weren't going the raise the baby together, he was going to do the right thing and be there and support her through the pregnancy, even though it was going to be hard.

He hadn't quite wrapped his head around it all yet, the fact that he was going to be a father, to a little human being that he and Savannah had created, he hadn't given it much of a thought until now, because it was so many other things that kept his mind busy. But the thought of being a father both exited and scared the hell out of him, he had lost his own father in young years and then everything had happened with Carl Buford… He had never really had a good father figure in his life, not after his dad had died, and it scared him, because he had no idea how to be a good father, or what made a good father.

At the same time as all those thoughts swirled around in his head, his mind wandered to Emily and what place she would have in all of this… If she even wanted to be in it, it was a risk that all this could push her away again, Derek didn't want to lose her, not again, he had already lost her twice, he didn't want to go through that again. But she was still living in London and she still had a job there, right now she had just gotten time off because of her mom being ill, but what was going to happen when she recovered… or what was going to happen if she didn't make it?... Derek didn't want to think of it like that, even if he didn't know Elizabeth Prentiss, he didn't want her to die, because even if she and Emily weren't close, he knew it would break Emily's heart if she didn't make it and Derek didn't want her to have go through that, because she been through enough already.

But at the same time, he felt like he had no right to ask her to become a stepmother to his child, not when they weren't even in a relationship, because they weren't not really, they still had some things to sort out, but Derek really wanted her in his life, he had just no idea how that was going to work, or is she even wanted the same thing as he did.

Derek was dragged out of his thoughts when he felt a movement beside him and he saw how Emily turned around and looked at him, she didn't say anything, she just looked at him, took in the sight of him beside her. When she first had woken up she had thought that last night had just been a dream, that she was alone in bed and hadn't made love with Derek Morgan all night, but then she had rolled over and seen him lying there beside her, staring at the ceiling, which had filled her with such a happiness, she knew they had a few thing to talk through, and she had to know what was really going on in his life, especially what was going on with Savannah. She had figured out that something had happened, otherwise he wouldn't have said that he couldn't stay at his own apartment or he wouldn't have slept with her again last night. Although Derek hadn't told her anything, and even if she wanted to know, she had to believe that he would tell her when he was ready.

"Good morning." Derek whispered when he saw that she was awake, he smiled at her and she smiled back at him.

"Good morning." She said and looked up at him. Then he opened his arms to her, as a way to tell her to move closer. Emily bit her lip in insecurity for a moment, before she moved closer and rested her head on his chest. Derek gently ran one of his hands through her hair, while he held her with the other, pressing his body closer to hers.

"Emily…" he uttered quietly, looking down at her.

"What is it?" Emily asked, looking at him, his voice sounded so fragile, so different than usually.

"I have something to tell you… But first I want you to know that I hope it won't ruin anything for us… because I want to have you in my life, and not just as my friend, I want what we had before, I want to try to have a relationship again… Because…" Derek took a breath before he continued.

"Because I'm still in love with you." Emily just stared at him, she had wanted to hear him say those words for a long time, but at the same time it scared her a bit, because she had no idea what that would mean for them.

"I am in love with you and I want to be with you… But Savannah is pregnant… and I'm the father." Derek said slowly, he thought that maybe this wasn't the best way to tell her but he had to get it out and the sooner the better. Emily stared at with broaden eyes and shoot up from her spot beside him.

"What?!" she burst out.

"How… But why… why aren't you with her?" Emily asked, she thought it might have been the dumbest question at the moment, but she had no idea what to say.

"I can't stay with her, it wouldn't be fair to her, not when I'm in love with you." Derek said gently, it had been easier to say it then he thought it would be.

"What about the baby?" Emily asked slowly, Derek sighed.

"I'll do the right by the baby, I'll take my responsibility, and I will support Savannah through it, but I won't raise it with her. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a father, I want to be able to do all the things with my child that I never got a chance to do with my father."

"So… shared custody then?" Emily asked quietly. Derek nodded.

"That's what I'm hoping for… But I will have to talk with Savannah and we have to come up with a solution together." Derek said.

"You make it sound like a business deal." Emily muttered, but she knew that was from what it was, they were talking about a baby, a baby that he was going to have with another woman and Emily couldn't help but feeling a bit jealous, that Savannah was going to carry his baby for nine months, it wasn't that she wanted to be pregnant, but the fact that through this baby, Savannah was always going to be connected to Derek in one way.

"I know this is huge… and I know that you and I still have things so figure out… And I know we aren't even in a real relationship. But I meant what I said, I want you in my life, I want to try to have a relationship again, because I love you." Derek said slowly, looking at her, no clue to what she really felt about what he had just told her.

"I… I want that too Derek, because I love you too and I want to be with you. But I don't know if I can and I still live in London… I still have a job there, even if I wanted to, I just can't pack up and leave." She said.

"I know… and I can't ask that of you either or to become a stepmom to my child..." Derek said slowly.

"No… And honestly? I don't know if I'm ready or if I can be with you, not when you're having a child with another woman…" Emily said, looking at him with pain in her eyes, Derek swallowed.

"What are you saying?" he asked.

"I'm saying that I need time to think." Emily said and got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Derek looked after and hoped that this wouldn't ruin ay possible chances for them to be together.

xxx

Derek got gently knocked on the door, and it felt like an eternity before it opened and Savannah appeared in front of him.

"Hey… Can I come in? We need to talk." Derek asked gently, not sure if she was mad at him or not, she didn't look terribly happy to see him, but she let him in and closed the door behind them. They sat down in the living room, facing each other from either side of the coffee table.

"So… What did you want to talk about?" Savannah asked, with a bit of cold in her voice, but Derek couldn't really blame her, he was the one who had cheated on her and pretty much broken up with her right after she had told him that she was pregnant with their child.

"The baby… and how we are going to do this…" Derek said, feeling slightly nervous.

"Okay… I'm listening." Savannah said and looked at him.

"Look… I'm sorry for what I did, but I can't make it undone, but I think it is for the best…" Derek began, but Savannah cut him off.

"You cheated on me and you think it was for the best?! What the hell is wrong with you Derek!? The Derek I fell in love with would never behave like this." Savannah exclaimed and Derek could see that she was pissed, but once again, how could he blame her?

"No… I just meat that it if I hadn't cheated on you… I probably wouldn't have figured out that I'm in love with someone else…"

"Oh, because _that_ makes it better?" Savannah muttered dryly. Derek sighed in frustration, he really hadn't come here to fight.

"No it doesn't… Look, Savannah. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I still want to be a part of our baby's life, I will try my best to be a good father… And if you let me, I'll support you through the pregnancy. I really didn't come here to fight, I just wanted to talk and try to do the right thing." Derek said. Savannah scoffed and shook her head.

"Right… It doesn't change what you did. But I won't stop you from being a part of this child's life, even if I'm not too happy with you right now." she said.

"So you will let me be a part of the baby's life? You agree on shared custody?" He asked, a bit unsure on what she really meant. Savannah nodded slowly.

"I will." Derek sighed in relief, maybe this was going to work out after all.

"Thank god… Because I really want to be a part of our baby's life. I really do."

Savannah was just about to answer when her phone rang, she glanced at the display, and picked it up.

"It's work. I have to go." She said. Derek nodded, before he said his goodbye and left. Derek walked out to his care, felling a bit better than what he had done before, he felt a bit more at ease, maybe it was going to work out this way.

xxx

Derek picked up some things at his apartment before driving back to the house, even if he had somewhat sorted out things with Savannah, he felt that it was easier to stay at his property, and it was actually was closer in distance to Quantico than his apartment was, which was an advantage.

He unlocked the front door and stepped inside, and to his surprise, he saw that Emily waited for him in the kitchen. She didn't look up until he was just a few feet away from her. She looked at him with a determined look in her eyes.

"I have made a decision." She said and Derek swallowed, wondering if it was going to be good or bad…

**Please leave a comment or review before you go, they help me to get motivatoin to keep writing! :)**


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